see a compelling reason to share my experience on this trip as a yardstick for passing judgment on whether or not I believe Nigeria is progressing or retrogressing. The only constant in nature is change. It could be for the better or for worse. Staying exactly the same is not entirely possible given the dynamics of Nature itself for nothing stays the same. My ultimate goal is to offer suggestions on the way out for a potentially great nation whose progress is being criminally subverted or compromised by her own leaders, Government and people, all in the name of Democracy. I cannot possibly do this in one article. I have therefore decided to do a series on the subject with this one as the curtain raiser or the opening salvo.

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I always make it a point of duty like some of my fellow compatriots to visit home at least once every 2 years to see my parents and family members, take care of some personal business and plan ahead for what I think will be my eventual return home because I was, for a long time, a captive to the puerile sentiments that � East or West, home is always the best� meaning that where you are born has a special attraction that cannot be compared with any other place you ever call home. I don�t know about that.. What I do know is that I have since taken myself off the list of Nigerians who still share that view. I have done so because of my cumulative experience from my last trip among others. Home, to me now is where you have the greatest peace of mind and happiness to do some public good, plan your life the way you want, and do whatever you enjoy doing, and what God or your Destiny may have created or empowered you to do because I strongly believe that God truly has a mission for each and everyone of us, and that our life has a purpose. The truth is that many of us would never attain that purpose not because we lack the talents so to do but simply because of the constraints of our residential or locational environment and circumstance. I do a lot of things today that I could never have been able to do in my country of origin had I stayed home. There is even a chance or possibility I might not be alive today had I stayed home.

My experience from this trip has convinced me beyond any doubt that it is far much easier to do evil in Nigeria than anything constructive. It just seems to me that Nigeria, as at presently constituted, and with the reality on the ground we see everywhere, is forever programmed, structured and decidedly doomed to fail by what our leaders do or fail to do as a people and as a Government. Don�t get me wrong. This assertion does not at all mean that many who had never left home would not thrive and prosper. They sure do and I can point to hundreds of them who think those of us living abroad with no immediate plans to return home are turncoats who are merely wasting our time. There comes a time in life where what appeals to you may not necessarily appeal to me. What makes you feel good about life may be the exact opposite of what I view as the very opium of life. So our definition of home may be as far apart as the individuals making the definitions..Home to me is where I get fulfillment for most of my aspirations in life and where my quality of life is measured in specifics I can feel and touch. By that definition I would therefore consider New York my home before I think of Akure, my place of birth. If you view this confession as a sellout, you are perfectly entitled to your own opinion, as I am to mine.

My latest trip Nigeria has become an eye opener in some ways. I guess you can call Nigerians the greatest enemies of our country and us. What is sad in this observation is the fact that most of our leaders and their followers I spoke to, are either in denial, self- delusion or total resignation. I can say that from my perspective as a clinical psychologist by training and certification and from my latest experiences, traveling around the country just to see things for myself.

I took a risk that could possibly have cost me my life on this trip because Nigerian roads and highways are death traps that could prematurely send you to your graves or permanently cripple incapacitate you as I found out from a short visit to Igbobi Orthopedic Hospital in Lagos or from a brief visit to my daughter, a final year medical student at the Obafemi Awololwo University Teaching Hospital, Ile Ife where many accident victims along Ibadan/Ife/ Ilesha/Akure and Owo so-called Highways are often rushed to for treatment. Many of those okada or motor vehicle victims die from losing too much blood while waiting for treatment, because the Hospitals cannot possibly cope with the number of accident victims rushed there on daily basis .All of the Nigerian hospitals lack the modern equipments and drugs and medical supplies and staff they all need to be at the top of their game. Nigeria is a filthy rich country that is far much blessed than countries like Singapore or Indonesia to mention a few but our commonwealth is being squandered and stolen dry by visionless leaders and politician entrapped in a cobweb of corruption, hypocrisy and deceit that are second to none in the whole world.

When you add all of that to the saga of the nation�s President missing in action for 98 days in Saudi, seeking for medical treatment that his own Government has so woefully failed to provide or improve, and taking a French leave with no regard to the intent and letters of the nation�s Constitution, you have to instinctively know that Nigeria is going no where but down the tube if it does not break up eventually. The handwriting on the wall is so clear for those who have eyes to see.

The President and his handlers and loyal supporters have been playing games with the whole nation on a matter as serious as the Health of a President who would have had more honor quietly dying in office than exposing himself to all these abuse and ridicule before they pull the plug on him. Why for God�s sake are this President and his handlers finding it so difficult to accept the specter of the president dying in office? May be they know something that the rest of us don�t know. Only time will tell. I am inclined, however, to believe that God may be using the President predicament to tell us something we are yet to fully comprehend. We have got to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. The Yar Adua saga has brought out the worst on the fragility of Nigeria as a nation and why Nigeria�s readiness for prime time is so suspect at this time. We have a nation where the acting President is scared to sip a cup of tea in his oval office for fear his cup of tea might be poisoned with cyanide. We are now living in a country where power failure has become a constant feature in Aso Rock while the acting President is meeting with important visitors like the diplomatic corps in Nigeria. Who can tell if that is not a rehearsal for a palace coup that could deceive or lure those protecting the acting President into a false sense of security when the real coup is under way? We now live in a country where the Head of the Army now brazenly says his loyalty is first and foremost not to the legally recognized acting Head of State and the acting Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces. We now live in a country where the acting Commander-in-Chief had to take instructions from the aides and wife of his dying boss who returned to the country under cover of darkness and under life support but trying to muddy the waters a little bit for the acting President and claiming that his return back to the office now means that the acting President must revert back to the �status quo ante bellum� What is most disturbing in all of these is the presumption by the PDP, the ruling Party that Nigeria has never been more stable and ready for another victory in the polls for the PDP in 2011. Your guess is as good as mine as to what to make out of this for the opposition and the rest of the country as we get closer and closer to 2011. That will be the day is all I can say about that. .

I was in Abuja from the 9th to the 12th of February to show up myself at the Federal Pensions Office because I have been presumed dead because I have not come around to ask for my pensions in more than 20 years after retirement. I did write to apply, but the post offices generally don�t deliver mails on regular basis in Nigeria. Since the average span of life is roughly 46 for males and 48 or 49 for female, and I am well over 60, it was assumed by the Abuja Pensions Office I could no longer be alive. That was shock number one for me and for them. I was shocked they could say that about me and they were equally shocked to see me come for my entitlement after 20 years!

I saw pensioners, some in their 70s or 80s emaciated, dehydrated and weak standing in long and rowdy queues waiting to submit their claims to the computer room located on the 8th floor of the building next to the national Arcade at the Federal Secretariat in Abuja. The computer room itself was an eyesore stocked with antiquated computer desktops and screens imported from some computer junkyards overseas. Many of those computers have been crippled by virus, too much dust in the air and unpredictable and frequent power outages which have become a daily scourge in every nook and corner of Nigeria including International air ports in Lagos and Abuja and in many of the state capitals across the country.

My journey from the Abuja airport to my destination in Karo which should have taken less than 30 minutes, had taken me more than 4 hours because of traffic jam in Abuja metropolis. It was a pathetic scene to behold, as frustrated drivers often have to come out of their cars and trucks exchanging blows and causing more hold-ups in the process.

Late Justice Akinola Aguda the legal luminary from Ondo State, who was chairman of the Commission that recommended Abuja as a better alternative to Lagos as capital of Nigeria, has to be turning and fuming in his grave, if he is able to see what his dream capital has become. Abuja is being developed with typical Hausa mentality, which is summarized in �Allah Yakau� meaning �Don�t ever worry about planning anything, Be Happy. Live for today, tomorrow will take care of itself. Allah is able and all-powerful to see you thru He knows the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning. He will take care of everything� Can you imagine any country with that kind of religious rationalization as the bedrock of her economic formulation and strategy. That is another reason Nigeria is going nowhere but down. It is only a question of time. Our leaders can keep all the vigils they wish at the redemption camp at the city of Faith on Ibadan Express, that is not going to save Nigeria from falling apart because her foundations are built on a quick sand of deceit and dishonesty.

I once had a chance to engage the late Justice Akinola Aguda in a conversation a year before his death. The Justice and I come from the same town and he was a one time Chancellor and Baba Egbe of the Anglican Church to which I belong in Akure. His greatest regret and frustration which he freely expressed, on that occasion, was how the Hausa or the Fulani dominated Federal Military Government had totally set aside many of the recommendations his Commission had made that the network of roads leading to the capital, about 6 in all and all necessary infrastructures be completed before the capital should be moved from Lagos. His goal was to avoid reenacting or compounding the same problems that had forced the Federal Government to consider moving the capital

The bottleneck in traffic jam faced by Abuja today could easily have been avoided had Ibrahim Babangida not rushed the movement to Abuja for reasons best known to him. Abuja was supposed to be a no man�s land and that was why the original owners who were poor and rural farmers were fully paid off, before the territory was to be ceded to the Federal Government in perpetuity. Did Babangida and subsequent Federal Governments follow that refrain from the Justice Aguda Commission? Never.

Abuja today is probably the most expensive capital in the world where landlords are allowed to rent their buildings for any amount without a modicum of any price or rent control or any zoning laws that could protect the aesthetic beauty of the city. Nigerians deceive themselves and the world when they call Abuja the most beautiful capital in the world and the fastest growing city. The place is a metaphor for �Beauty and the Beast� The down town Abuja and the place around which you have the Presidential Villa, a stone throw from the Parliament complex itself and many of the Government buildings or Secretariat which should have been decentralized, to begin with, were all built in one and the same place which now passes for the city center. That is the only place to write home about in Abuja, The rest and the outskirts where the majority of the workers live and retire to every night are veritable slums, cattle fodder and ghettoes where garbage pyramids abound forming a chain of mountains that rival the surrounding rolling mountains surrounding the City with the Sumo Rock as the most conspicuous and enchanting.

I have never seen a capital like poor Abuja. Dodoma, the new capital of Tanzania replacing Dares Salam was surely not built like that I was in Dodoma when the great President Julius Nwalimu Nyerere pioneered the move to build the capital. Yamoussoukro in the Ivory Coast is another planned city by Houphet Boigny. So was Sydney in Australia and so was Washington DC. to mention a few. Traffic hold up is as bad in Abuja today like it is in Lagos, the commercial center of Nigeria. The traffic situation is most likely to get worse as time goes by. Every available space in Abuja with the exception of lands reserved for Government or the grand canyons scattered all over Abuja�s uneven landscape is fully built up, with no provisions for Parks and recreation grounds for the teaming masses of people moving into Abuja for employment opportunities from every nook and corners of Nigeria and beyond. The whole place is going to ground to a halt due to poor planning and execution of projects already awarded.

I do not understand the special attraction for Abuja. The weather is hot and the whole place is dusty dirty once you move out of the city center or downtown. There are a few functioning streetlights that drivers obey when they please. I saw a few drivers running the red light without any law enforcement to stop them or issue them tickets. It is a lousy capital from all I can see. There is no portable water system. Every house has to have its own borehole and generator to get drinkable water or get light at night. I see nothing special about the place the drivers drive like crazy people with no respect for the other road users. It is a nightmare driving into Abuja from Okene or Kaduna or from Jos and one could easily have a heart attack driving on those dirty dusty narrow roads. The ruling Government has failed the nation and it deserves to be disgraced out of office for taking Nigeria to the cleaners. They have no record to run on in 2011 and I cannot for the life of me understand why they keep talking of retaining power in 2011 unless they massively rig the election again. Period.

The only road construction company dominating all the major contract in Abuja is Julius Berger which understands how to deal with individual awarding those contracts by greasing their palms and building private mansions for them in Abuja or their villages as kickbacks. Julius Berger is therefore everywhere. They are more popular in Nigeria than they are in their home base, Germany. I spent some time with my son in the US Naval Base in Stuttgart Germany. I never saw any signboard on roadwork bearing Julius Berger. They are the kings in Nigeria because they understand Nigerians and the way we do business. You will think they will be working round the clock to complete the roads and open up Abuja to relieve the congestion and traffic logjam. Instead you find their workers loitering, sitting down doing nothing or closing work by 4 PM just like the Government workers do.

The only other construction company I notice from their signboards and few caterpillars on the road is Dangote and Sawoe Nigeria PLC. Dangote, who used to be the Sugar and Cement monopolistic merchants in Nigeria, is recently moving into construction and sharing the contracts with Julius Berger. I have no problems with their getting road contracts. What I am concerned about is their inertia and delays and incompetence in executing the contracts awarded them. Only God can tell how much is wasted in money and man-hours by both of these companies. Our Parliamentarians sit down in Abuja discussing how to share their loot with nobody talking about how to assure free flow of traffic in the Federal capital and all the other problems within the purview of their oversight responsibilities.

I took time off to watch on television the illegal contraption by the Nigeria Senate and the House to declare that the so-called interview in Hausa edition of BBC by ailing President Yar Adua was good enough as a letter to the Senate informing the Senate about his whereabouts and why he is out of the country. It was the most stupid interpretation of Section 145 of the Nigerian Constitution that anybody could offer and everybody knows the interpretation could not pass the acid test in a Court of Law. Nevertheless, the so-called lawmakers in their foolhardiness still went for it. Power outages would not let me see the whole of the debate on TV as NEPA continues to take away light repeatedly without any apologies to anybody because Nigerians are already used to living in darkness.

I could only scratch my head as I watch the Parliamentary debate on TV. It was animal farm at best to say the least. Majority of those honorable members behave like thugs and hoodlums or juvenile delinquents. If lawmakers cannot correctly interpret the laws they have made, I guess the law courts would have to interpret it for them. An interview granted on BBC network should, under no account be equated to a letter issued and signed by Mr. President asking that the Vice President be allowed to act for him while he is away for treatment in another country. It is as simple as ABC but our lawmakers have made it so complex by reading their own meanings to it, and making a fool of themselves. It is true that the Laws are made for men and not the other way around. If their excuse is predicated on that precept, it would have made better sense, I think. They got it all wrong and I am sure Nigerians have not heard the last on it as we speak

If you compare the legislators� behavior with what you normally see in the House of Lords or the House of Commons or better still in the Capitol in Washington DC, you will be amazed to find out how in the world these Parliamentarians can justify the pay they receive. It was a big shame to say the least. Most of the Nigerian Parliamentarians go to their different chambers to discuss how to share money and submit claims for their various allowances and how to claim bloated estacodes for frivolous trips in and out of Nigeria to see a President on life support who does not want to be seen all wired up by anyone other than his own wife.

I thought a President returning from a medical leave as controversial as the one Yar Adua has just returned from should be very happy to be welcomed back home with hugs and kisses and with a 21 gun salute not by a fully equipped ambulance driving to the tarmac to take him away in the early hours of the morning with not a single soul seeing him get into the ambulance? How na�ve can his handlers get by assuming that people will not add 2 plus 2 and get 4. It was plain stupidity. What are they now going to do when the President eventually loses a battle it is now crystal clear he cannot win.

Nobody wishes him dead but if prayer alone is enough to stop death from occurring Rev.Idahosa of Benin would never have died. The great Most Superior Evangelist Oshoffa would never have died. The great Patriarch Bolaji Idowu of the Methodist Church would still have been here with us. The very founder of the Redeem Christian Church of God, who hailed from Ondo town would still have been here with us. Pope John Paul the second would not have died. The great Ayatollah Khomeini the founder of the Islamic Revolutionary Republic of Iran would never have died. Come on. If it is time for Yar Adua to go, Prophet Mohammed cannot stop him. The President has a terminal illness that few mortals like him can hardly beat or wish away. Life support can prolong his life for some time but cannot restore him to normal active life if he is already brain-dead. Turai must understand that and so should the rest of us. The President cannot for that reason hold the whole nation to ransom

All in all, the picture of Nigeria emerging from my experience on this trip is not at all pretty and I intend to share all of it with my readers in the series beginning with this one.

I had four major goals I set out to accomplish on this trip. The first was to take part in the burial ceremony of my 91-year-old mother-in-law slated for January 28 at Akure, the Ondo State capital. The second was to give away one of my daughters in marriage on February 5 in Lagos. The third was to go to Abuja to finally show my face and put in my claims for my long awaited pension benefits.

I retired from the Federal Service way back in 1986 after 25 years serving in various capacities. I recall acting for one Mr. Ugbade as Head of Pensions in Establishments for roughly a month when Mr. Ugbade went on vacation. It was the same Pensions Divisions I now have to return to in filing for my benefits. The Pensions Division under Mr. Ugbade who served as Principal Secretary under two distinguished Permanent Secretaries in late Grey Eronmosele Longe and Francesca Yetunde Emanuel, was totally different from the one I visited in Abuja.

There was not a single soul in that Division who knows me or my antecedents as their one time boss or an old veteran of the Ministry of Establishments where I served as Secretary Staff Development for 4 years as the successor to Mr. Asielue under Mrs. Emanuel as Permanent Secretary. The Pensions Division in those days was far more alive to its responsibilities than what I saw play out during my recent visit to Abuja even though there were no computers, at the time, to help with information storage and retrieval. It was a much more humane and efficient division than what I saw, but there were still a few flashes of inspiration I could identify in the Division. They were two officials of the Division namely one Jummai Ali and one Mary Inwang of the computer unit who went above and beyond the call of duty to do their work as expected of them.

I have taken it upon myself to draw the attention of the current Director of Pensions to the exemplary conduct and stewardship of the two individuals who did not know who I was, but performed with distinction and empathy rare to find in current generation of public servants. They did so without demanding any kickback or other gratifications. I was very impressed by their sense of responsibility and devotion to duty.

My fourth mission in Nigeria was to find out how the Estate agents or companies managing all of my personal properties in Nigeria have done in the last 20 years. What I found was a nightmare. I am sharing this because I know many Nigerians are in the same boat with me. They live and work outside Nigeria but expect agents to manage their properties at home. In my own particulars case I found evidence that my agents would have wished that I never return to Nigeria so they could continue cheat and collude with tenants to rip me off and feather their own nests at my own peril. One of them who was supposed to keep a record of his stewardship and to present them on demand, not only cooked up the books, he did such a lousy job that I had no other choice than to take him to court to seek a redress.

The other was actually serving two masters by colluding with renters thereby ripping me off by deliberately renting out my properties at lower than market value so he takes commissions from he and me also takes commissions from the renters. The big loser in all of the transactions is I, the owner of the properties who has to pay for damages caused by the renters in addition to having nothing in the kitty when all is said and done. You just find that all you get is spending money upon money doing repairs to the houses with nothing to show as income or profit.

Did I achieve all of the goals set for myself on this trip? The result is a mixed bag I will rather not talk about in this article. You can form your own opinion on that by the time I complete the series on Nigeria and what lies ahead.

Nigeria is the most vicious and heartless country on Earth where dog is eating dog, if you get what I mean. Every storefront is a Church. If you go by that index alone you would think that Nigerians are godly, humane people. You will be living in a fool�s paradise if you ever assume that. If Nigerians tell you � good morning� you better check your time to be sure, you are not being taken for a ride. You can trust but very few in the society.

It�s not only true about daily life alone it is equally true in Politics and how the nation is governed from coast to coast and from sea to shining sea. The scenario about the President�s health and the events trailing it are absurd and terrible to say the least. The same controversy trails the country on all fronts if you are paying attention as much as I do. The country can be likened to the story of the hunchback, who was once asked why is it that the load you carry does not appear balance on your head? The hunchback fired back telling the questioner to take a second look at him and he will fully understand the cause of his observation. Putting Nigeria on a periscope is a serious cause for alarm at this point because the prognosis is not looking good. Unless our current leaders and Government change their modus operandi, the future is not that bright for Nigeria all things considered.

Stay blessed and stay tuned for my next in the series. I not only feel like a stranger in my own country, I feel like a fish out of water because the environment is so hostile and increasingly deteriorating from what it used to be from my own point of view. It was nice to be back to my home away from home if you accept my definition of a home. I could not pose a single article for the whole month I was away because the atmosphere and the environment were less than conducive or friendly for sober reflection. I could possibly be dead by now, if I had never left home. The situation was that bad, and the adjustment were most difficult for me to navigate or accept. I will not lie to you.

I rest my case.